I saw my ex for a drink a couple of nights ago. It feels really weird to write that, as I don’t really want to think of him as my anything, so perhaps he should be referred to as that really inappropriate guy I used to go out with. For a very short period of time. During which he broke up with me three times and convinced me to give him another try twice. Going by the old saying of Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me that probably makes me some kind of brainless loser, but I prefer to see myself as optimistic. At least, I did.
Anyway. Drinks. He is probably the only person I willingly argue with, mainly because arguing assumes about the same level of importance to him as breathing. He will force an argument out of anything, just for the sake of being contrary. (Turbulent relationship, anyone?) The fun thing is that he doesn’t expect a bait from me, so when I said I approved of the Tory inheritance tax changes, it was like taking a dummy away from a baby. I would almost feel ashamed of myself, if it wasn’t so much fun to watch as he caught on about 15min into a rant 
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He is a person who lives in the moment, and in hyperdrive. His past haunts him and is largely responsible for the persistent rattling of body and mind, giving himself no time to examine any emotion or situation too closely. Yet he is always ready with a quip and a joke, the only person who can make me laugh even in my blackest darkest moods. He is a terribly charming flirt, and during the first few months of my current relationship was annoyingly trying to tempt me into infidelity. He is now in a serious relationship himself and expecting a child (twins at that!) , so apart from one allusion on his part to regrets and what-ifs, we managed to have a nice evening. For the first time, almost three years past that what-the-hell-are-we period, it feels like we could be just friends, and the thought makes me unexpectedly happy. I have always been very good at “accidentally” losing friends – made my life easier to deal with for a time – and that is the one thing I truly regret as I get older. So this tentative resumption of a friendship which began years before we tried to be anything else, feels like a good start.
